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LOCATIONS
LOCATIONS
INFIRMARY
Fully stocked with modern medicine and medieval surgical supplies.
MORGUE
Cozy!
CREW CABINS
Inaccessible, behind bulkheads.
BRIG
Try not to end up here.
ATRIUM
The grand main hall of the ship. Has a raised platform that is wonderful for giving important speeches.
LOUNGE
A comfortable seating area located around the atrium.
GUEST SERVICES
Please direct all questions, comments, and complaints here.
There are various pictures and gifts given to Friday posted around the area, as well as strings of paper cranes.
There are various pictures and gifts given to Friday posted around the area, as well as strings of paper cranes.
BRIC A BRAC
A store selling tchotchkes and souvenirs of all kinds, including ship models, branded clothing, and magnets. Perfect for everyone back home!
ISLAND GEMS
A high-end jewelry store. Includes raw gemstones of all kinds, and countless rings, watches, necklaces, and earrings, all contained within glass cases that cannot be broken by seemingly any force.
ALL AND SUNDRIES
A general store offering toiletries, paperback books, medicines, sunscreen, and snacks. Conveniently located near the public bathrooms!
DECK
An outdoor area on each side of the ship. This is where the muster stations are, and where passengers will go to board tenders.
Beautiful ocean-view rooms! Odd numbers are on port side; even numbers are on starboard. It contains a queen-sized bed, a couch that can pull out into a queen, a television with no reception, and an attached bathroom with shower, sink, and toilet.
In the halls outside the cabins, a sign has been posted: there's a sign written in the cabin hallway: “Please be considerate of those of us with super-hearing / No arguments in the hall / 11 PM - 8 AM / Weekends 12 AM - 10 AM”
In the halls outside the cabins, a sign has been posted: there's a sign written in the cabin hallway: “Please be considerate of those of us with super-hearing / No arguments in the hall / 11 PM - 8 AM / Weekends 12 AM - 10 AM”
LAUNDRY
Laundry supplies provided free of charge. It can take two hours for bleach to reach the bloodstream.
STELLAR
A formal dining room. Breakfast is served from 7AM to 10AM; lunch is served from 11AM to 2PM; dinner is served from 6PM to 8PM. Tables are grouped by cabin, but friendliness is encouraged.
There is an industrial kitchen attached to the dining room. None of the food served seems to come from it.
There is an industrial kitchen attached to the dining room. None of the food served seems to come from it.
PHOTOS AT SEA
A place to purchase copies of photographs taken during your cruise! Passengers may browse the photos, seeing themselves in different scenarios and places around the ship, though they don't remember the photos being taken, and have never seen anyone with a camera.
LIBRARY
Lots of cozy places to read! There is not a single non-fiction book to be found.
FATE'S DESIGN
A casino and designated smoking section. Games include slots, blackjack, poker, roulette, and craps. Chips are easily available in conspicuous buckets, and there does not seem to be any way to cash them in. The cards will deal themselves.
BELLONA THEATER
A grand theater where musicals and shows are performed for an audience. Theoretically. Actually, no one ever seems to be in here. It's where bingo happens, though!
PLAYBACK
A large location with activities for various age groups of children. Has a dance club and lounge for teens, an arcade, and an indoor playground. Someone keeps laughing. Wonder who.
There is a Build-a-Bear machine here now.
There is a Build-a-Bear machine here now.
PROMENADE
A charming street-like area leading to the various clubs and bars.
A large golden statue stands in the middle.
A large golden statue stands in the middle.
STAN THE MAN
A posh cocktail bar. Has every variety of liquor you have ever heard of, and several that you haven't.
SAND DOLLARS
A place for coffee, conversation, and very tiny madeleines on very tiny doilies.
BOBBY B'S
Another designated smoking area, with a humidor and a collection of whiskeys with improbable-sounding ages.
A very old-looking vending machine dispenses cigarettes, with brands from various worlds.
A very old-looking vending machine dispenses cigarettes, with brands from various worlds.
JOHN'S
Every two hours, the piano plays a 30-minute set of Billy Joel songs.
RAINBOW RENLY
Loud music, shining lights, bad choices.
THE DRUNKEN SAILOR
Stereotypical English joint with a wide variety of beers, ales, and ciders. There are many delightful bowls of pretzels, and sometimes shepherd's pies and newspapers of fried fish end up on the tables.
SCOOPS
For all your sweet treat needs. 31 flavors of ice cream and every variety of candy you can think of. Unfortunately, the ice cream does not seem to ever serve itself. Find the scoop!
TOPY
If you thought the whiskeys were improbable! Some of these bottles say they're from years before Burgundy even had human habitation. Somewhat dusty.
MIKABO
The plates of sushi, sashimi, and small appetizers regularly appear on a conveyor belt.
Actually, have you seen any kitchens?
Also, GHOST HIBACHI! Mind the eggs. And the steak knives.
Actually, have you seen any kitchens?
Also, GHOST HIBACHI! Mind the eggs. And the steak knives.
CHATTERBOX
Every night, at 9PM, a karaoke machine rolls onto the stage for exactly one hour.
THE INFINITE TOMMY BAHAMA
Tucked snugly between Sand Dollars and John's, this outlet store contains a seemingly endless array of hideous outfits. If you walk forward for long enough, you start to realize the aisles seem longer than the ship.
One section contains a collection of Moonage Lobotomy T-shirts and leather jackets, directly clashing with the rest of the brightly colored clothes around it.
One section contains a collection of Moonage Lobotomy T-shirts and leather jackets, directly clashing with the rest of the brightly colored clothes around it.
LA FROMAGERIE CATHERINE INFINIE
A Belgian cheese shop, inexplicably stuffed between Chatterbox and Topy. The milks used are mostly from recognizable animals. Probably best not to ask too many questions about the dwarf cheese.
COSMIC BOWLING
Serves pitchers of beer and soda, terrible pizza, and seasoned fries.
WINDJAMMER
The buffet to end all buffets! Running 24-hours, the food is constantly refreshed and changes variety every day. However, there are always crab legs. The crab legs are a constant.
POOL BAR
For fruity frozen drinks with beach umbrellas in them.
POOL
The main pool, surrounded by phalanxes of beach chairs that always seem to already have towels on them.
ADULT POOL
A smaller, quieter pool reserved exclusively for adults. There is a massive movie screen just above it, though it never seems to play anything.
There are also two hot tubs located nearby.
There are also two hot tubs located nearby.
CALGONA
The grandest spa on the seas! Massage tables. A full-service beauty salon. A well-equipped gym and yoga studio. Thermal suites, saunas, a salt room, and a hydrotherapy room.
And entirely self-service. No ghost massages here.
And entirely self-service. No ghost massages here.
SPORTS DECK
A court with nets for basketball, soccer, and tennis. Ping pong tables. A running track. Shuffleboard. Also, equipment for ice hockey?
BRIDGE
Inaccessible.