[sympathetic hmming, she's heard plenty through Skulduggery's reports, and has come to a lot of her own tentative conclusions about the Captain and his experiences and his motivations. but it's different hearing it through him directly. still, she thinks he's easy enough to understand, without all the straining she has to do with most of the other passengers.]
Even when I managed to escape, I didn't feel free. Every day was a struggle just to get up, to survive, and all I had was my pain to motivate me. But eventually I realized that for all that effort and exhaustion, I didn't even have much of a life worth saving. But I was still too terrified to just. Get ripped into nothing. I got mean, and desperate, and hated myself all the more for it.
And now I'm here, with a chance I never thought I deserved. And you're here, not wanting to be thanked for that. And neither of us want to lose Skulduggery.
Clarke once accused me of being like you. Just not sure this is the way she expected.
I don't see why you should thank a person for something they didn't do. I wasn't the one that gave you that, after all. But, I suppose it's hard to thank random chance. That's why people created gods in the first place.
[a faint grin] How convenient. There's at least seven insults already baked into that single comparison.
Random chance brought me here, sure. But this place... as much as people complain, you could have made it worse. I know Friday handles a lot of those aspects. But the realities we get to go to. I like that. And that you don't... force or control us, our actions are still our own. Or my standards are just very low.
... hah. Well, do you feel personally insulted by it? Because I used to.
[a shrug] It's funnier when they do things to themselves... I got bored of controlling their every move very quickly. Never did it again after a few hundred years... much...
... I'm not the party being insulted by the comparison, so I'm not sure my opinion on it matters.
It matters to me. [blows a bit from the corner of her mouth at one of the ribbons that's poking at her face] But I could think of worse people to be compared to.
I don't know. Who do you think is the most annoying?
[she watches the fiddling, wonders if it has anything to do with the silver cuff. the one that Skulduggery confirmed as the Captain's lost item returned, that held the truth of his past.
she holds out a hand, trembling and tentative.] If anyone tries that here. I'll rip their heart right out.
[he pauses, glancing up at her, her face, the extended...]
I don't remember a great deal of it. Of him. Or the others before him... My identity wasn't the only memory I've locked away. There are only flashes. Hands. Chains. Fire. Dark rooms. Pain like your soul being wrenched from you.
... None of those caused the most vivid one. An anger so sudden and hot it melted centuries of tried and tested magic... And I couldn't begin to tell you what it was about.
[her hand falters as it goes ignored, a ripple of static that spreads over her body as she quickly retracts the offer. she looks down, both hands folding tightly together into her lap. she tries not to take it personally, because there was a time she'd outright hit anyone that reached for her.]
It wasn't stupid. Whatever it was it was important enough to free you. But I don't blame you for wanting to forget. What they did.
So much of my life was a blur. Tests. Missions. Pain. Tests. Missions. More pain. Strung together with lies. I just... stopped paying attention at some point along the way. It's why I like puzzles.
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Even when I managed to escape, I didn't feel free. Every day was a struggle just to get up, to survive, and all I had was my pain to motivate me. But eventually I realized that for all that effort and exhaustion, I didn't even have much of a life worth saving. But I was still too terrified to just. Get ripped into nothing. I got mean, and desperate, and hated myself all the more for it.
And now I'm here, with a chance I never thought I deserved. And you're here, not wanting to be thanked for that. And neither of us want to lose Skulduggery.
Clarke once accused me of being like you. Just not sure this is the way she expected.
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[a faint grin] How convenient. There's at least seven insults already baked into that single comparison.
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... hah. Well, do you feel personally insulted by it? Because I used to.
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... I'm not the party being insulted by the comparison, so I'm not sure my opinion on it matters.
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I don't know. Who do you think is the most annoying?
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And I turned out just fine. [obviously]
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[just leaving that there.]
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Did you kill them?
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Only the last one.
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[she watches the fiddling, wonders if it has anything to do with the silver cuff. the one that Skulduggery confirmed as the Captain's lost item returned, that held the truth of his past.
she holds out a hand, trembling and tentative.] If anyone tries that here. I'll rip their heart right out.
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I don't remember a great deal of it. Of him. Or the others before him... My identity wasn't the only memory I've locked away. There are only flashes. Hands. Chains. Fire. Dark rooms. Pain like your soul being wrenched from you.
... None of those caused the most vivid one. An anger so sudden and hot it melted centuries of tried and tested magic... And I couldn't begin to tell you what it was about.
[... returns to fiddling.]
Probably something stupid.
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It wasn't stupid. Whatever it was it was important enough to free you. But I don't blame you for wanting to forget. What they did.
So much of my life was a blur. Tests. Missions. Pain. Tests. Missions. More pain. Strung together with lies. I just... stopped paying attention at some point along the way. It's why I like puzzles.
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It's why I like games. Even when I'm the only one playing them.
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... Sure. You pick.
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Charades?
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I don't think I've ever... Can you play that with two people?
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[so she doesn't really know the rules outside of that but...]
Or um. The silent game isn't very fun... [got told to play that one a lot. trying to think of anything that's for two people instead of just one.
whispers:] Truth or dare?
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Okay. You get one round.
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Okay okay. Truth. Or dare?
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