[one day, he'll be able to be called a term of endearment without immediately blushing and hiding his face. that day is not today. tomorrow isn't looking good, either.]
Bribing is a bit strong... I was thinking this was more along the lines of negotiation.
[he brushes his thumb against the shell of his ear, unable to visibly express the tender regard in his gaze.]
I think it would be nice. I think you might enjoy the experience, even without violent sabotage. And, I'll admit, I very selfishly would like to see everyone's faces when they realize you aren't going to incite a bloody massacre.
[there is an ulterior motive here, of course: the chance for everyone, friend and foe alike, to see what he sees. it's selfish and silly, but he does hope it helps.]
Well, negotiations on my end have gone fantastically. Is there something you'd like from me in return? Or am I witnessing more of your surprising generosity?
No, no. You see, I'm imitating you, which is supposedly the sincerest form of flattery... [a low chuckle] But I suppose you're looking for a more... tactile sort of praise?
You might want to invite me in, then. [he bows his head over the Captain's, grin audible.] Unless you'd rather me get handsy in this precariously public space...
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[a pause] Besides, she's quite specifically terrible at keeping these sorts of secrets. It's best to keep her in the dark about it.
[and that is the ACTUAL reason for that.....]
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[but, point taken.]
I'll continue to keep it vague, then. We don't need to be overshadowing the wedding party. [not before they're even married!]
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[...]
So, I... shouldn't be planning on ruining that wedding? [said with a tone like this is the first time that has even occurred to him.]
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They're already expecting you to ruin it, my dear. [hmm.] César wondered if you even knew how a wedding worked.
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I don't. I skipped ahead during those parts.
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Even in books?
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[... unless?]
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[here's his wedding present to the happy thruple.]
Maybe there's something I could do to make up for you not torturing the grooms-to-be?
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Are you bribing me?
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[he brushes his thumb against the shell of his ear, unable to visibly express the tender regard in his gaze.]
I think it would be nice. I think you might enjoy the experience, even without violent sabotage. And, I'll admit, I very selfishly would like to see everyone's faces when they realize you aren't going to incite a bloody massacre.
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Oh, that does sound very funny... Some of them will spend the whole time waiting for the other shoe to drop, and then it never does...
[a determined nod]
Okay. I'm convinced. It will be a lovely wedding.
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[a grin] I'll have to work on it.
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Well, negotiations on my end have gone fantastically. Is there something you'd like from me in return? Or am I witnessing more of your surprising generosity?
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Well, maybe... If you're not, you know, busy, or something...
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[heh]
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W-Well, I wouldn't say begging, at this point, but, that's certainly a... possibility, if certain cards are played correctly...
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Cool.
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You might want to invite me in, then. [he bows his head over the Captain's, grin audible.] Unless you'd rather me get handsy in this precariously public space...
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[which is a privilege he doesn't even extend to Friday. namely because she would abuse it, i.e. by asking him to do literally any work, ever.]
... And maybe next time. For the other thing.
[making things worse having reached its peak, he's gone in a blink.]