[torn between slapping the Captain upside the head and leaving before he says something he'll regret, Skulduggery remains standing by the door, crossing his arms.]
You're being an ass. Is it because you don't want to take responsibility for anything? Or are you simply hoping that if you overwhelm Friday, you can use her failures as an excuse? "The universe doesn't want me to live, otherwise the ship's sole support wouldn't have collapsed under the weight of all my shirked responsibilities?"
It doesn't feel good when people do that to you, does it?
[...]
She said you would have been willing to watch Vile drive me mad, that you'd done it before, that you didn't know what that meant, and that you sounded like you were waiting for literally any excuse to give you a reason to kill yourself.
[a huff, and he pulls himself up into a sitting position.]
She wanted to lord over me regarding December. She was told exactly what the consequences of that day could have been. She didn't like it, because none of them ever like the truth. She went off crying to you. The end.
That's what worries me. Is it because you've given up the memory, or has it been locked away out of necessity? And if it's necessary for you not to know, then it's only a matter of time before my meddling and poking around causes real damage.
I don't want you to. [firmly] And whatever reasons I had for doing whatever it is I've done, I can't abide by them any longer. They were made without you in consideration, and thus must be remade.
[there is so much potential for good in that declaration. his reckless but flagging optimism takes a pained breath and carries on with a stitch in its side.]
What does that mean? [he drags his feet as he closes half of their distance. he feels briefly helpless, finally unable to even pretend to come up with some kind of plan or motivational half-speech.]
There isn't anything I can do. I've clearly made sure of that, and Friday... is very, very good at what she was created to do. And that is to follow my orders, even to my own potential detriment. Whatever I had told her to do, she will move Heaven and Earth to preserve it.
[he pauses, then looks up at him.]
I will have no role in whatever is to come. I made that choice for myself a very, very long time ago. What will happen, and what will happen after that, shall be entirely up to you and that band of misfit toys on the other side of the door.
Right. No pressure. It'd be easier if I could trust more than three people on the ship not to completely destroy everything.
[...]
I'm not going to be satisfied until you're free of whatever decisions you've trapped yourself in. It's going to have to be a slow and careful process if we don't want everything to come crashing down around us, but it's going to happen.
The rabbit usually doesn't custom-design his hutch, lock the door and forget where he left the key.
[he reaches the couch and stops, sinking to his knees in front of the Captain and resting his hands on either side of him.]
What is it that you want to happen? Where do you want all of this to lead? I know you might have trouble conceptualizing it, but... even if you can't answer me now, I'd like you to think about it.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
You're being an ass. Is it because you don't want to take responsibility for anything? Or are you simply hoping that if you overwhelm Friday, you can use her failures as an excuse? "The universe doesn't want me to live, otherwise the ship's sole support wouldn't have collapsed under the weight of all my shirked responsibilities?"
no subject
How did she word it, exactly.
no subject
How did who word what?
no subject
also he's still upside-down]
tw: suicide ideation mention
[...]
She said you would have been willing to watch Vile drive me mad, that you'd done it before, that you didn't know what that meant, and that you sounded like you were waiting for literally any excuse to give you a reason to kill yourself.
no subject
God, but the French are over-dramatic. And all over the inevitable result of asking awful questions, getting awful answers.
no subject
no subject
She wanted to lord over me regarding December. She was told exactly what the consequences of that day could have been. She didn't like it, because none of them ever like the truth. She went off crying to you. The end.
no subject
no subject
[pauses. when he speaks again, it's Darcy's voice, exactly as he had heard it.]
Really? You couldn't bring yourself to kill him, but you'd just get used to seeing him like that? I don't believe you.
[another pause]
That was what that part was. That part.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[...]
I don't want you to.
[...]
I don't want you to. [firmly] And whatever reasons I had for doing whatever it is I've done, I can't abide by them any longer. They were made without you in consideration, and thus must be remade.
no subject
What does that mean? [he drags his feet as he closes half of their distance. he feels briefly helpless, finally unable to even pretend to come up with some kind of plan or motivational half-speech.]
no subject
[he pauses, then looks up at him.]
I will have no role in whatever is to come. I made that choice for myself a very, very long time ago. What will happen, and what will happen after that, shall be entirely up to you and that band of misfit toys on the other side of the door.
[beat]
So. No pressure.
no subject
Right. No pressure. It'd be easier if I could trust more than three people on the ship not to completely destroy everything.
[...]
I'm not going to be satisfied until you're free of whatever decisions you've trapped yourself in. It's going to have to be a slow and careful process if we don't want everything to come crashing down around us, but it's going to happen.
no subject
It isn't always such a bad thing, you know. To be trapped. The rabbit wants to escape the hutch, but only because it's not thinking about the owl.
no subject
[he reaches the couch and stops, sinking to his knees in front of the Captain and resting his hands on either side of him.]
What is it that you want to happen? Where do you want all of this to lead? I know you might have trouble conceptualizing it, but... even if you can't answer me now, I'd like you to think about it.
no subject
To you.
no subject
[he can't believe it, but he wants to.]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)