Hats are fun. [pause. eyebrow raises.] Wait. You talk about me that much? How do you even manage that? Constant plotting against me is an inherent feature of the system.
I don't eat, drink, sleep, smoke, or wear ugly vacation clothing. What else am I supposed to do? The library is full of fiction, half of which is absolute garbage when run through the translator, there's a casino where the chips are freely given, and... what? A pool? A gym? A spa, with no attendants? I don't even have any muscles!
[He throws his hands up, exasperated.]
I wouldn't even complain if it weren't for all of the people constantly trying to find things to distract me from the mysteries and puzzles that are interesting! They can be distracted if they want, but I can't! So yes, maybe I do talk about you a lot. Sorry that you are, unfortunately for me and apparently everybody else, the most interesting thing aboard!
[He doesn't feel better but at least he's done shouting??? who needs a truth event when you've got no brain/mouth filter due to trauma?]
[He sort of expected to be completely tuned out, so the question comes as something of a surprise.]
I... don't have any particular problem with it. I would just like to be able to learn about some of the other realities people come from without having to... [talk to them] Ask questions blindly. The number of times I've had to ask people to clarify simple magical vocabulary... [UGH] It is truly annoying.
You'll have no argument from me there. [He thinks fiction is more interesting when you have the real-world context to go with it, but that would be arguing, so he keeps it to himself.]
Fairly fast. [When your mortal BFF is/was an author prone to pushing deadlines, you learn how to cram a couple of novels in one night.] Admittedly, I haven't tested my speed-reading comprehension since all the torture happened...
That's not an equal exchange at all. [rolls his eyes, like why does he not already know this...] Now, what's something both of us could do, without much preparation...
Does this make up for the eleven months of continual torture by the hands of creatures who can drive a man mad with a single look? Sort of, honestly. It doesn't do much for the dawning existential horror, unfortunately, but maybe the book will be a better distraction!]
It was a good game. [gg babe] I'll be excited to see what you pick out. How long will I have it for?
[Despite everything, Skulduggery manages a laugh at last. How many times has he been scolded about taking care of some priceless, irreplaceable tome?
("Too many," is the answer, but this isn't about that.)]
I'll keep it in my cabin and refrain from tearing any pages out. [Promise, he nearly says, but he's not in any state to be making promises.] And I'll do my best to finish it in a timely manner.
Cool. [and then, because clearly the conversation ends with that, he simply disappears from view.
the following morning, there is a knock at his cabin door. on the floor in front of the door is a package, wrapped like regains are. opening it reveals Skulduggery's prize.]
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[He throws his hands up, exasperated.]
I wouldn't even complain if it weren't for all of the people constantly trying to find things to distract me from the mysteries and puzzles that are interesting! They can be distracted if they want, but I can't! So yes, maybe I do talk about you a lot. Sorry that you are, unfortunately for me and apparently everybody else, the most interesting thing aboard!
[He doesn't feel better but at least he's done shouting???
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... What's wrong with fiction?
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I... don't have any particular problem with it. I would just like to be able to learn about some of the other realities people come from without having to... [talk to them] Ask questions blindly. The number of times I've had to ask people to clarify simple magical vocabulary... [UGH] It is truly annoying.
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[short pause]
How fast of a reader are you?
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Fairly fast. [When your mortal BFF is/was an author prone to pushing deadlines, you learn how to cram a couple of novels in one night.] Admittedly, I haven't tested my speed-reading comprehension since all the torture happened...
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But if that's not the case, then... What's the game?
[This is totally a good idea!]
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[glances at his hands]
Rock, paper, scissors?
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[shakeshakeshake
rock]
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[SHAKESHAKESHAKE
rock, psyche out!]
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one two three shoot -- paper!]
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it's rock.]
I'll have to go back onto the bridge to get it, of course. I'll have Friday deliver it to your cabin.
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Does this make up for the eleven months of continual torture by the hands of creatures who can drive a man mad with a single look? Sort of, honestly. It doesn't do much for the dawning existential horror, unfortunately, but maybe the book will be a better distraction!]
It was a good game. [gg babe] I'll be excited to see what you pick out. How long will I have it for?
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("Too many," is the answer, but this isn't about that.)]
I'll keep it in my cabin and refrain from tearing any pages out. [Promise, he nearly says, but he's not in any state to be making promises.] And I'll do my best to finish it in a timely manner.
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the following morning, there is a knock at his cabin door. on the floor in front of the door is a package, wrapped like regains are. opening it reveals Skulduggery's prize.]