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THE CAPTAIN:


unless he likes you then it's more like

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PIRATE JENNY GUABANCEX JENNY:

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[sictransitgloriamundi]

... Ah.

[absolutely the most fascinating sleeve that has ever existed let us return all attention to that right now and nothing else.]

[decohere]

He's really cute, right? [lays back on the floor and stares up at the ceiling]

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[...

...

...]

Mhhm...

[decohere]

I kinda suspected he had a crush. Because he'd talk about you aaaaaaall the time.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[visibly dying inside to the point where he has just straight up forgotten he can literally disappear at any time.]

[decohere]

[peeks over and frowns, rolling onto her stomach and propping her chin against her fist]

Oh. Oh, sorry. I promise he didn't share any details. I... just thought you might like somebody to talk about it. But we can change the subject.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I--

[his voice cracks on the word. he's silent for a moment, waving a hand vaguely.]

I wouldn't even know how to even begin talking about... such things...

[decohere]

[will not recommend talking to Sharky, especially since the poor guy is really going Through It right now]

It's... new to me. Never really went through that stage, growing up, nobody ever talked to me about it. Didn't think anyone would ever see me that way, be able to look past my... condition, even if I could meet anyone. Hard when they label your existence top secret. Never thought even if I'd somehow trust anyone enough to touch me, that it would feel good, when I was so used to everything just... hurting.

A lot of it's still really confusing and I am really worried about messing up, or... having him realize how messed up I actually am. But talking about it's helped. Figure out how I feel and what I want and... make it less scary.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[it's strange, he thinks. to have your own life repeated back to you as someone else's. maybe that's what empathy is. something he's only read in stories.]

... Remembering was an impossible task. The truth is... debilitating. This sense that every day is just one more step towards the inevitable... I couldn't bear its weight and continue existence at the same time. And, so, I would make myself forget.

[...]

And yet, here we are. Over a month into it. And I wouldn't want to lose a second of it. I want to remember everything.

[decohere]

[sympathetic hmming, she's heard plenty through Skulduggery's reports, and has come to a lot of her own tentative conclusions about the Captain and his experiences and his motivations. but it's different hearing it through him directly. still, she thinks he's easy enough to understand, without all the straining she has to do with most of the other passengers.]

Even when I managed to escape, I didn't feel free. Every day was a struggle just to get up, to survive, and all I had was my pain to motivate me. But eventually I realized that for all that effort and exhaustion, I didn't even have much of a life worth saving. But I was still too terrified to just. Get ripped into nothing. I got mean, and desperate, and hated myself all the more for it.

And now I'm here, with a chance I never thought I deserved. And you're here, not wanting to be thanked for that. And neither of us want to lose Skulduggery.

Clarke once accused me of being like you. Just not sure this is the way she expected.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I don't see why you should thank a person for something they didn't do. I wasn't the one that gave you that, after all. But, I suppose it's hard to thank random chance. That's why people created gods in the first place.

[a faint grin] How convenient. There's at least seven insults already baked into that single comparison.

[decohere]

Random chance brought me here, sure. But this place... as much as people complain, you could have made it worse. I know Friday handles a lot of those aspects. But the realities we get to go to. I like that. And that you don't... force or control us, our actions are still our own. Or my standards are just very low.

... hah. Well, do you feel personally insulted by it? Because I used to.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[a shrug] It's funnier when they do things to themselves... I got bored of controlling their every move very quickly. Never did it again after a few hundred years... much...

... I'm not the party being insulted by the comparison, so I'm not sure my opinion on it matters.

[decohere]

It matters to me. [blows a bit from the corner of her mouth at one of the ribbons that's poking at her face] But I could think of worse people to be compared to.

I don't know. Who do you think is the most annoying?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

The answer varies, but... I suppose if someone ever compared me to Jinx, I'd have to reconsider my entire life.

[decohere]

[a giggle] She accused me of thinking I was better than her, the first time we met. Her, Clarke, and Darcy. I don't know what it is about teenagers.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Human teenagers are essentially insecurity elementals. It makes them almost painfully easy targets.

[decohere]

My handlers thought I was difficult.

And I turned out just fine. [obviously]

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I suppose mine did as well.

[just leaving that there.]

[decohere]

[finally pushes up off the floor, scoots closer]

Did you kill them?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[a pause. he returns to fiddling with his sleeve.]

Only the last one.

[decohere]

I thought about it. A lot.

[she watches the fiddling, wonders if it has anything to do with the silver cuff. the one that Skulduggery confirmed as the Captain's lost item returned, that held the truth of his past.

she holds out a hand, trembling and tentative.] If anyone tries that here. I'll rip their heart right out.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[he pauses, glancing up at her, her face, the extended...]

I don't remember a great deal of it. Of him. Or the others before him... My identity wasn't the only memory I've locked away. There are only flashes. Hands. Chains. Fire. Dark rooms. Pain like your soul being wrenched from you.

... None of those caused the most vivid one. An anger so sudden and hot it melted centuries of tried and tested magic... And I couldn't begin to tell you what it was about.

[... returns to fiddling.]

Probably something stupid.

[decohere]

[her hand falters as it goes ignored, a ripple of static that spreads over her body as she quickly retracts the offer. she looks down, both hands folding tightly together into her lap. she tries not to take it personally, because there was a time she'd outright hit anyone that reached for her.]

It wasn't stupid. Whatever it was it was important enough to free you. But I don't blame you for wanting to forget. What they did.

So much of my life was a blur. Tests. Missions. Pain. Tests. Missions. More pain. Strung together with lies. I just... stopped paying attention at some point along the way. It's why I like puzzles.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[a slight grin]

It's why I like games. Even when I'm the only one playing them.