All we are is what we are perceived to be. Reflected in the eyes of others. [he begins picking at the cuff of his sleeve.] How can we be any more or less? We can claim to be whatever we like, but if no one else agrees, how can it be true.
-what you're perceived to be- [ Darcy says in unison with him, rolling her eyes. ]
Who perceived you into looking like an undertaker who teaches kids about death on sesame street, ehn? Who perceived Skulduggery into dating you when all you did those first couple of months was try and make us hate you? Who?
quietly:] For the longest time, I was sure it was that paper. And this is the first moment when I've been able to be completely confident that it isn't. And that it never was.
[ A 'hmf', like she thinks the idea it was Stede's doing is laughable. Because it is. ]
It wasn't anything I was doing while I had it. It was all you. I can't understand why you act like you want other people to tell you who you are, and then just ignore them and do what you want anyway.
Most people have less weird habits than 'blaming other people for you personally deciding to be a dick'. I feel like smoking's a better habit than that.
Hm, yes. Instead, I should decide that every single thing that occurs is cosmic punishment for something that I have personally done. Though, I am afraid I've never met a person who made hair shirts look good.
I don't need to know how to play piano to know when one's out of tune, [ thanks for relaying that one, Vance. ]
I don't know, I'm just saying that between the two of us, one person put Skulduggery's fate in the hands of Nobunaga and the rest of those idiots and one of us. Didn't do that? Maybe never taking responsibility for anything in your life isn't working out so great for you?
[a mild noise] You're really all remarkably ungrateful that you are still alive. I don't think you fully grasp how much easier the alternative would have been.
And he wasn't miserable when you dragged him through the trial? Maybe you missed this in the thousands of years you haven't given a shit about anything, but when you care about someone, it's your job to keep them fucking safe. And you didn't.
Okay sure- both of us failed him, now what? You got your dig in, now what? Make you feel any better about being a chickenshit coward who couldn't do one single fucking thing to keep his boyfriend safe? I'm not the one who controls who lives or dies here.
I heartily apologize for being entirely unwilling to risk permanently killing the only person I love in order to spare the lives of some hideous little bastards. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
So you chose to gamble instead, giving yourself the wonderful options of 'having to do it anyway' or 'watching him get fucked over by the rest of those bastards, knowing what will happen and how it will hurt him and choosing to do nothing about it'. Mea culpa, I totally didn't see how you're in the right here.
... You do realize I wasn't going to do it if you all didn't vote for it. That if that had happened, I wouldn't have destroyed Vile. I would have let what was going to happen, happen.
And eventually he would stop being the person you fell in love with, if you did to him what you did to yourself. Does he know that you would've been happy watching Vile drive him nuts?
no subject
no subject
Who perceived you into looking like an undertaker who teaches kids about death on sesame street, ehn? Who perceived Skulduggery into dating you when all you did those first couple of months was try and make us hate you? Who?
no subject
quietly:] For the longest time, I was sure it was that paper. And this is the first moment when I've been able to be completely confident that it isn't. And that it never was.
no subject
It wasn't anything I was doing while I had it. It was all you. I can't understand why you act like you want other people to tell you who you are, and then just ignore them and do what you want anyway.
no subject
Habit, I suppose. They are rather hard to break after the first few thousand years.
no subject
no subject
no subject
I don't know, I'm just saying that between the two of us, one person put Skulduggery's fate in the hands of Nobunaga and the rest of those idiots and one of us. Didn't do that? Maybe never taking responsibility for anything in your life isn't working out so great for you?
no subject
[a mild noise] You're really all remarkably ungrateful that you are still alive. I don't think you fully grasp how much easier the alternative would have been.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Because Skulduggery would have been miserable.
no subject
no subject
... I believe you stopped talking about me at some point, there.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ A deep breath, while she tries to dismiss the image of him eating his own eyeballs had she kept the fucking contract. ]
I don't believe you.
no subject
[... frowns.]
I don't know what that means.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
tw: suicidal ideation
tw continues
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)