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[sictransitgloriamundi]

[it just gets funnier the longer it goes he is fully willing to spend actual days sitting here.]

[saltwaterlungs]

You know you're going to have to deal with me until either me or Skulduggery disappears right.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Am I not dealing with you right now.

[saltwaterlungs]

You're just kind of sitting there silently. That's not really dealing with.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[shrugs]

There isn't much to deal with in particular. Simply not allowing you your martyrdom has calmed you down well enough.

[saltwaterlungs]

It's not martyrdom if I come back. Why don't you want me to fix things?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Because that's not what you're doing. Unless you have somehow developed the self-awareness necessary to recognize that when you say "things," you mean "the guilty conscience of Darcy LeJeune."

[saltwaterlungs]

Weirdly enough, guilt is a thing that happens when normal people do a bad thing. You feel guilty, so you fix what you've done and don't do it again. Yes, I feel bad about it, because I'm trying not to be such a huge fucking cunt all the time, and I was genuinely trying to help. Surprisingly. I'm guessing guilt is one of those emotions you're still learning.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Hm. And we return to the start once again, don't we. [a thin smile] Perhaps it's just my ignorance of human emotions, but I'm failing to see how "wiping your memory" or "wanting to be killed" fix what you did. I just see how they would make you feel better about it.

[the smile widens]

And I don't think you get to have that yet. That doesn't fix anything, either. But it does make me feel better.

[saltwaterlungs]

And you still won't tell me what will fix things, because you're a petty little motherfucker. Wasn't this fucking productive.

[ Darcy pinches at the bridge of her nose. ]

Can you forgive me? Is that in the realm of possibility here?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Some things can't be fixed.

[a long pause]

I have no desire to absolve you. And I've yet to be shown any reason to do so. I'm not even entirely sure what you want forgiveness for, specifically.

[saltwaterlungs]

[ Oh. Gestures vaguely and then rubs the back of her neck. ]

I was cruel to you. That's what it comes down to, even beyond doing dumb shit with sensitive information, and even if I didn't mean it, whatever. I'm sorry that I hurt you. That's what I'm asking forgiveness for. I don't want to keep fighting you forever, I defended you to people before I fucked up because-

[ Reaches into her pocket and withdraws the cool knife. ]

I wanted to believe there was more to you. And I was grateful for you giving the knife back. I am still grateful for it. I don't want absolution, I just want to atone, and then I'll fuck off.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

... Ah. I think I see.

[he leans forward slightly.]

You need to come to terms with the fact that you did mean it. That could be a start.

[saltwaterlungs]

No, I didn't. Like- did I mean to get under your skin, yes, obviously, but I didn't mean it-mean it. I could've tried to come at you with anything, but nothing else would've worked. You don't really give a shit about anything other than yourself, it's the only way to make you care about anything.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[just sits back once again.]

[saltwaterlungs]

[ Y'know, on reflection of everything she just said- ]

Alright. Fine. Apparently I meant it. I'm sorry.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

[just raises one eyebrow at her.]

[saltwaterlungs]

[ In the exact tone of a kindergartener being made to read out an apology letter, ]

I'm sorry for deliberately and on-purpose fucking with you by using something you're sensitive about against you.

[ Raises both eyebrows back. ]

I'm a cunt. Since apparently you know everything about me this shouldn't be surprising.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

Did priests just start slamming the confessional door shut when they heard your voice at some point.

[saltwaterlungs]

What does that have to do with anything.

[ Not quite slammed, but her priest did eventually start opening with 'what is it this time?' ]

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I'm starting to think you quite literally do not know how to apologize.

[saltwaterlungs]

I have been apologising! I've said I'm sorry and I'm trying to do shit to fix it, what else do you want?

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I'll admit, I am curious to know whether you can actually get through an apology without amending it, but, even grading on a scale, you haven't done the latter at all.

[saltwaterlungs]

Because you won't tell me what you want me to do to fix it, and apparently all the ideas I thought of on my own are selfish.

[ Places both hands over her face. ]

This is exactly what I meant- nobody can get you to do anything. It's like an ant trying to apologise to someone- you don't give enough of a shit about any of us for it to matter at all. This is probably just- more fucking entertainment for you.

[sictransitgloriamundi]

I've already told you. There isn't anything you can do to "fix it." It's just something that happened, and nothing can make it unhappen.

[a pause]

I could tell you that I accept your apology. And it would mean just as much as your apologies do. Nothing.