Then that's something in the Nothing, [ Which means they're still her wards and she still needs to take care of them. A pit sinks in her stomach, and her genius secondary plan now feels more and more stupid. She could at least try it. She could...
End up overriding Skulduggery's goodwill and hurting everyone she cares about. Darcy digs the contract out of her inside jacket pocket, making direct eye contact with him. ]
[ And sure enough, she flicks the lighter into life and holds it to his signature. If Izzy had any capacity to return from the Nothing and smack her upside the head, he probably would. But the dead remain where they are, and the gambit goes ahead. ]
And I was going to burn it before you said anything, even if you don't believe me.
[ She keeps holding the paper as the fire spreads, crackling through his signature and her own, and Izzy's- looped in the kingfisher blue ink she gave to him for Christmas. ]
I'm not doing this because I'm scared of you. And it's not because I think I'll get anything out of it. I'm not that dumb. This is... compassion and mercy between people.
[ When the fire reaches her, it goes out with a reflexive pulse of her magic, leaving a thumbprint of blank paper in between her fingers. ]
That and Skulduggery and I have a bet, and I don't want him to accuse me of cheating.
[his gaze lingers on the spot where the paper was long after it's gone, long after he feels the tether pull taught and snap. he takes in a deep breath, slow on the exhale, and if the way he slides down the wall to sit on the floor doesn't look like his legs have just given way beneath him, it's only because he's had quite a bit of practice.]
[ Oh. She wasn't expecting that reaction. Darcy looks down at him for a moment and then just sort of... plonks herself down beside him on the floor, unsure of what to say. ]
You have no... [a dry laugh] Entire kingdoms were worth less than that single piece of paper. Thousands, millions of lives weighed nothing against it. And for all my power, for all my work, the only thing that truly ever keeps me safe is the vanishingly small occurrence of human ignorance.
[ Skulduggery was wrong about the value of the signature then, of course. He would've agreed to it. He would've. Darcy hopes to God she hasn't just made a mistake. ]
That's a funny way to say 'someone actively working against her self interest and common sense to fix an unforced error you made'.
[another slow breath, and he leans his head back against the wall.]
It's in my nature. Or so I've read, in all the old legends. An inevitable ending, for all you try to twist the path... You change the way you're facing, but never the direction. Not really. Not in any way that matters.
[ Darcy looks at him, actually regarding him for a moment in a way she usually doesn't, trying to see past her gut reaction of wanting so badly to punch him in the face. ]
Sounds like some bullshit.
[ She leans her head against the wall, ] better to go down swinging than to sit there and let other people tell you who you are, I think, even if it doesn't change anything. Fuck the old legends and the assholes who wrote them.
All we are is what we are perceived to be. Reflected in the eyes of others. [he begins picking at the cuff of his sleeve.] How can we be any more or less? We can claim to be whatever we like, but if no one else agrees, how can it be true.
-what you're perceived to be- [ Darcy says in unison with him, rolling her eyes. ]
Who perceived you into looking like an undertaker who teaches kids about death on sesame street, ehn? Who perceived Skulduggery into dating you when all you did those first couple of months was try and make us hate you? Who?
quietly:] For the longest time, I was sure it was that paper. And this is the first moment when I've been able to be completely confident that it isn't. And that it never was.
[ A 'hmf', like she thinks the idea it was Stede's doing is laughable. Because it is. ]
It wasn't anything I was doing while I had it. It was all you. I can't understand why you act like you want other people to tell you who you are, and then just ignore them and do what you want anyway.
Most people have less weird habits than 'blaming other people for you personally deciding to be a dick'. I feel like smoking's a better habit than that.
Hm, yes. Instead, I should decide that every single thing that occurs is cosmic punishment for something that I have personally done. Though, I am afraid I've never met a person who made hair shirts look good.
I don't need to know how to play piano to know when one's out of tune, [ thanks for relaying that one, Vance. ]
I don't know, I'm just saying that between the two of us, one person put Skulduggery's fate in the hands of Nobunaga and the rest of those idiots and one of us. Didn't do that? Maybe never taking responsibility for anything in your life isn't working out so great for you?
[a mild noise] You're really all remarkably ungrateful that you are still alive. I don't think you fully grasp how much easier the alternative would have been.
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End up overriding Skulduggery's goodwill and hurting everyone she cares about. Darcy digs the contract out of her inside jacket pocket, making direct eye contact with him. ]
You know what this is?
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I believe it's something you'll rip apart within the next few seconds if you have any idea what's good for you.
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[ And sure enough, she flicks the lighter into life and holds it to his signature. If Izzy had any capacity to return from the Nothing and smack her upside the head, he probably would. But the dead remain where they are, and the gambit goes ahead. ]
And I was going to burn it before you said anything, even if you don't believe me.
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I'm not doing this because I'm scared of you. And it's not because I think I'll get anything out of it. I'm not that dumb. This is... compassion and mercy between people.
[ When the fire reaches her, it goes out with a reflexive pulse of her magic, leaving a thumbprint of blank paper in between her fingers. ]
That and Skulduggery and I have a bet, and I don't want him to accuse me of cheating.
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quietly, as if more to himself than her:] You would have never done that if you truly understood what it was worth...
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And I burned it anyway.
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That's a funny way to say 'someone actively working against her self interest and common sense to fix an unforced error you made'.
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[another slow breath, and he leans his head back against the wall.]
It's in my nature. Or so I've read, in all the old legends. An inevitable ending, for all you try to twist the path... You change the way you're facing, but never the direction. Not really. Not in any way that matters.
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Sounds like some bullshit.
[ She leans her head against the wall, ] better to go down swinging than to sit there and let other people tell you who you are, I think, even if it doesn't change anything. Fuck the old legends and the assholes who wrote them.
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Who perceived you into looking like an undertaker who teaches kids about death on sesame street, ehn? Who perceived Skulduggery into dating you when all you did those first couple of months was try and make us hate you? Who?
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quietly:] For the longest time, I was sure it was that paper. And this is the first moment when I've been able to be completely confident that it isn't. And that it never was.
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It wasn't anything I was doing while I had it. It was all you. I can't understand why you act like you want other people to tell you who you are, and then just ignore them and do what you want anyway.
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Habit, I suppose. They are rather hard to break after the first few thousand years.
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I don't know, I'm just saying that between the two of us, one person put Skulduggery's fate in the hands of Nobunaga and the rest of those idiots and one of us. Didn't do that? Maybe never taking responsibility for anything in your life isn't working out so great for you?
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[a mild noise] You're really all remarkably ungrateful that you are still alive. I don't think you fully grasp how much easier the alternative would have been.
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tw: suicidal ideation
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