Yet in the end they still wanted to save one another. It's a bit sweet, if not for the whole stealing Fio away. [actually still pretty upset about that bit]
[just stares down at her fingers, pokepoking them together because the more she thinks over the question the more stupid it feels and Skulduggery was wrong she really shouldn't be the one asking this.
silent for a few moments longer, her mind blank on providing any other question to back out of this, to pivot the conversation a safer direction. but this isn't about her. it's about the ghosts. and after that massacre of a party who else is going to bother speaking on their behalf?]
Everyone's scared to die. That's hardly new information. And why would I waste my time even thinking about anyone that isn't of use to me in the first place.
[it hits her as hard as being called useless by Clarke. it's a reminder that SHIELD was ready to do the same. use her until she became nothing. Ava shakes her head, not quite ready to give up.]
Even in death, people want to matter, and no matter how many times I'm told to just... forget, I can't. Our value is more than what use we serve, we're more than resources to exploit. We don't have to repeat the mistakes of all the worlds you pulled us from. All those worlds fail for a reason.
You were worth more, and so was I, despite what anyone tried to reduce us to. And that's why I want to help you, it's why I view you as more than the monster the rest of them see. Why I keep your secrets, and have no desire to control nor manipulate you... or threaten such. Because I care, and I worry. I know last month you felt... hopeless, and I know how consuming that self-defeat can be.
But you're not alone and things can be different, if we allow new approaches. I don't want you to give up, not on yourself or what you've created here. And even if the answer is no, if there's truly no solution... I still believe it's worth considering.
[he grows silent and sullen as she speaks, focusing his attention entirely on fiddling with the cuff of his jacket. when she stops, he doesn't look up from it.]
[this isn't an outright rejection, and she glances up and away again, not wanting to stare him down. not wanting to come off demanding, or that she's putting him on the spot with her request.]
I don't know, religion always promises so much and I've never believed it was meant for me. But all I want is a sense of peace? I... can't pretend to have any of the answers. Just knowing what I do. That I'm terrified of how it is now.
But what if we think of something else to believe? Would that threaten how this reality functions? I know you said you weren't interested in the other responsibilities of being a God. But I think having a solid foundation to build upon is the first step toward it.
no subject
PEW PEW PEW!
no subject
Pow pow!
no subject
Oh no! You got me! [flops to her knees, oops yep that one's still bruised.
raises her fingergun for one last weak:] pew
no subject
[well that was fun. he pulls himself up into a seated position, legs crossed.]
You're hurt. [cocks head] Did you live through Halloween?
no subject
A little, landed badly. [shrug, things heal up] I did. Got a bit loud and annoying there at the end.
no subject
no subject
The whole possession thing new too?
no subject
you know. the movement that definitely answers that question.]
no subject
Some of them were a bit gross. Were they always like that?
no subject
no subject
no subject
[and maybe, for once, he's including himself as people.]
no subject
But can I ask you something?
no subject
no subject
silent for a few moments longer, her mind blank on providing any other question to back out of this, to pivot the conversation a safer direction. but this isn't about her. it's about the ghosts. and after that massacre of a party who else is going to bother speaking on their behalf?]
Does there really have to be Nothing. At the end?
no subject
At the end of what?
no subject
That's how they describe it. Nothing.
no subject
no subject
They were scared to go back. And those that returned from it...
no subject
no subject
Even in death, people want to matter, and no matter how many times I'm told to just... forget, I can't. Our value is more than what use we serve, we're more than resources to exploit. We don't have to repeat the mistakes of all the worlds you pulled us from. All those worlds fail for a reason.
You were worth more, and so was I, despite what anyone tried to reduce us to. And that's why I want to help you, it's why I view you as more than the monster the rest of them see. Why I keep your secrets, and have no desire to control nor manipulate you... or threaten such. Because I care, and I worry. I know last month you felt... hopeless, and I know how consuming that self-defeat can be.
But you're not alone and things can be different, if we allow new approaches. I don't want you to give up, not on yourself or what you've created here. And even if the answer is no, if there's truly no solution... I still believe it's worth considering.
no subject
What do you think should happen, when you die.
no subject
I don't know, religion always promises so much and I've never believed it was meant for me. But all I want is a sense of peace? I... can't pretend to have any of the answers. Just knowing what I do. That I'm terrified of how it is now.
no subject
[beat]
So, nothing does.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)